MY TOP TEN TRICKS to NEGOTIATE LIKE A GIRL:
(Aka ask for what you want... and get it).
1. Always ask
- Nothing beats practice. Start small, negotiate with friends and family first. Then negotiate with a client, then go toe-to-toe with the boss. But with love and numbers backing you. Always.
2. Don’t come in committed to outcome
- Come with options not outcomes. Instead of saying I want X amount, consider flex work, more vacation, an assistant, a virtual assistant – get creative with your asks and make sure you earned it, and there is a mutual benefit.
3. Explain why you deserve it and know what you are asking for
- Never come and just say, “I want more money.” This rubs me the wrong way when done to me. I immediately calculate the percentage change they are asking for and say, “What are you doing to earn 35% more money?” Rarely do they have an answer and they didn’t even realize they were asking for such a big % increase. Thus, back it up with facts and numbers. Say, “I did x and y and z and my plan for the coming 6-12 months is to accomplish this and that. Given that, I think the work I am doing is worth more than I am currently making. Thus, I wanted to talk to you about a pay raise?” Then shut up. They may be telling you you’re about to get one higher than your ask.
4. No emotions or needs (needy ain't cute)
- I don’t care that you can’t afford X, or feel like you want to make Y. Make it about what you have earned, not what you want. Be proud of never accepting a cent you didn’t earn.
5. Put yourself in your bosses (or counterparties) shoes
- What are their goals and how can you align? Everyone wants more money and if you’ve ever been asked for a raise by an employee you’d know that there is only so much money to go around. How can you put yourself on the other side of the table?
6. Best book on negotiation
1. The art of war is an uncomfortable classic – it shows you the non-politically correct ways of power but knowledge is power so it is worth reading. Even if you don’t want to use these strategies (I mean they list Genghis Khan so you can imagine the strategies he used – yikes!), you will recognize when they are being used on you. Aka, you won’t get murdered in a negotiation.
7. Be likeable.. Sounds simple, huh?
- I can’t emphasis this enough, making your “opponent” like you and want to give you what you want, is worth its weight in gold. That means smile, cajole, apply to their better instincts, state the benefits to them. My go to line is this… “You can’t blame a girl for asking can ya? What kind of employee/sales person/business person would I be if I ask for the business?” BIG HUGE ENDEARING SMILE following.
8. Ask for more than what you want..
Henry Kissinger the ultimate negotiator said, “Effectiveness at the conference table depends upon overstating one’s demands.” First because the universe just may give it to you, and then because there will be flexibility on the downside.
9. Get them to say their position first
For example, if you are negotiating a salary or package with a new gig and the person asks you for what you make currently, you don’t need to answer. You can say, “'Well I'm flexible depending on how you structure compensation for the growth potential and the right company fit long term. Would you be willing to share the rough salary range you have in mind for this position?”
If they push again and ask what you make you can say, “Charles this is really not something I give out broadly… kinda like a woman never tells her age (wink wink smile), why don’t you tell me what your range is and I’ll let you know if that fits my range.”
Confidence is everything.
- The main point is don’t just shout out the $ amount you could be too low or too high. Prep for this question and know what this position is roughly worth.
10. Reluctant seller/buyer
- Remember the one who wants it less almost always wins. So even if you want this new job/client/raise so badly you would sell out your mother, you need to pretend you don’t.
- Let me give you an example, say you have a job offer you’re dying to take, you hate your current job and are about to quite anyways and make $0. Here honesty is not the best policy. Reframe your mindset, they must negotiate to get the best deal for their company and you must negotiate the best for you, so for now, no transparency.
- You can say, “I’m really happy in my current role and growing immensely. I’m always open to the right opportunity at the right company but I’m not actively looking.” Why? Remember playing hard to get with a dude? It’s the same thing, it increases your perceived value, and makes them want you more.
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